A Lesson Learnt

For some reason it seems that instead of learning from the mistakes of others, we tend to learn only from our own mistakes. And so it stands to reason that my introduction to the proper etiquette at Taekwon-Do social occasions was steeped in a series of harrowing experiences which left me all the more wiser as to the dos and don’ts of our wonderful art.

As an Air Traffic Control Check Instructor I am very privileged to have access to a great teaching resource in the form of my younger brother Dr Richard Coll. He is the Associate Professor of Science Education at Waikato University and has Doctorates in Nuclear Physics and Science Education. He was recently awarded a Fullbright Scholarship for his work in the science education field. He is also one of the world’s leading authorities on teaching and education. During one of our many discussions on teaching and training I mentioned that I was really enjoying the challenge of assisting Mr Lance Brunton, 1st dan (Miramar Taekwon-Do), with the training of the junior class. After talking about some of these challenges at great length it struck me that some of his ideas and thoughts could benefit ITFNZ as a whole. So, being an avid student of Taekwon-Do, I obtained permission from my instructor, Mr René Kunz, 3rd dan and contacted Master McPhail to see if he would be interested in a talk by Richard. Master McPhail was very enthusiastic and invited Richard to be the guest speaker at the Stripes 1 to 1, Level Four Instructors course at Taupo on 6–7 November.

After a few emails, phone calls and conversations between Richard and myself the stage was set. Following Richard’s request for information which would enable him to “contextualise” his talk about Taekwon-Do, I suggested that we both attend a training session with Mr Eccles, 4th dan, at his Hamilton club. I obtained permission for the visit from Mr Kunz and Mr Eccles, departed for Hamilton and duly reported for training at 5:50pm on Thursday.

Richard and I were introduced to Mr Eccles and his club members and made to feel very welcome. I was invited to address the class in order to tell then the reason for our visit. Part of Richard’s requirement was that the training was as normal as possible and he requested that everyone carried on as usual. Well, after the 30 minutes of intensive warm up I was gasping and wishing I had asked them to cut straight to the training and forget the warm-up!!

Mr Eccles certainly gives his students a vigorous work out. The class was made up of a mix of rather senior students with very few juniors or new members. Consequently the lesson of linework, pad-work and patterns flowed with few interruptions. Richard made copious notes and observations. At the conclusion of the class the members of the club treated us to an incredibly polished display of patterns, pad work and destruction, culminating in a four board side piercing kick break by Mr Eccles which left Richard applauding and spellbound. Richard then interviewed Mr Eccles and a number of his students and, after a photo session, we departed for his home and a well earned rest and cold beer. We were both struck by the courteous, friendly and dedicated nature of all the Hamilton Taekwon-Do members. Richard was very impressed with Mr Eccles, describing him as “a naturally gifted and exemplary instructor” – high praise coming from someone with Richard’s credentials. Well done Mr Eccles and thank you and your club for a most enjoyable and informative training session.

	The junior shows respect by standing at attention and bowing. A junior should never extend his or her hand to the senior, but should should instead wait and shake hands only if offered by the senior. These rules become tricky if one is senior by rank and the other is materially senior by age!

The next day I rang Master McPhail to report to him on how the training session had gone and to make arrangements for Richard to get to the Stripes venue. To my astonishment and considerable consternation Master McPhail insisted that I attend Richard’s talk and the evening dinner! Fortunately during a recent search through the ITFNZ website for details on our club constitution, I found and studied the rules and protocols for social occasions, giving me some idea of the expected etiquette. Being of a cautious nature however, I decided to stop off at an internet café for a quick update and refresher and soon came to the realisation that this was going to be a nightmare of trying not to make too many mistakes and of keeping a very low profile in a very dark corner somewhere!

It wasn’t long before I was met with my first challenge. During our discussions on how Richard wanted to structure his talk, his wife, Sandyha, commented that she was looking forward to listening to his presentation, and I suddenly realised I had not informed Master McPhail that she would be there! (What was the rule? – “A member shall not bring uninvited guests”!) Instant disaster! A string of phone calls to Master McPhail with no answer sent me into a spin. I was going to have to ask permission when we got there. This was not looking good!

We arrived at the seminar venue and I helped Richard set up his PowerPoint projector. In a room just down the corridor I could see the various members going through their training and so I kept a close eye out for Master McPhail or Master Davidson. After about 10 minutes Master Davidson came out and I introduced myself (remembering to – “Not extend my hand until the senior extends his hand”) and introduced Richard to Master Davidson (not Master Davidson to Richard – man this was getting complicated!). I explained my dilemma with regard to Richard’s wife and Master Davidson had it sorted in a flash. Whew (I think).

When a toast is offered, the junior’s glass should be held slightly lower than the senior’s glass.

Master Davidson had some business to attend to so we finished the setting up and, being in great need of the nearest restroom, I ducked out for about two minutes. Of course Master McPhail turned up with a number of the other participants while I was away. At least I didn’t have to do the introductions! Master Davidson then suggested we go to the dining room. Little did I know the heat was really about to come on! As we entered (me at the back of course) I frantically ran through the dining room etiquette in my mind. I tried to sneak off to a nice dark corner but Master Davidson and Master McPhail insisted I sit at the top table! But where exactly? Seating etiquette rules immediately raced through my mind – “The middle is for the senior, the right side must be for the second highest rank and the left is for the third. The fourth place is again at the right” – got it. The waiter came around and placed water bottles on the table. Remembering that the drinks should be poured by the junior and attention must be paid to guests, I proceeded to slop water into everyone’s glasses without spilling too much and generally (I think) in the correct order. Next came the wine and, after a tasting by Master Davidson, I managed to get the wine distributed without getting a back fist to the philtrum for my clumsiness. After that it was time for the toast. (I was ready for this one – “when a toast is offered the glass should be held in two hands, the junior’s glass being held slightly lower than the senior’s”).

Finally the meal arrived. This was an easy one for a change – “Wait for the senior member or an elder person to start first”. I didn’t have a problem there. We always waited for Mum and Dad to start their meals when we where children so that form of etiquette was well instilled in me. A quick glance around the table every minute or so and a steady flow of water and wine kept me occupied until I got back to my seat to find Mr Bhana pouring water for some of the others and filling mine as well! Sudden panic! Where does this fit in? Is it under, “When a drink is poured by a friend the recipient should immediately return the hospitality by pouring the friend’s drink”? No. That was not going to work. He had already filled his own glass! I make a quick apology and a promise to fill his glass next time.

Mr Rimmer was sitting alongside me on my left and asked me a few questions about why I started Taekwon-Do. Silently I was asking myself the same question! I explained about a pledge made a number of years earlier and he talked about some of the techniques they had been studying during the seminar. I make a mental note of his words and then he told me he would shout me a beer if I do the techniques described during my next grading. This man really knows how to motivate someone! I glanced around to find Mr Bhana had filled up his glass and mine again. At that moment it suddenly occurred to me that I was sitting at the table with all the examiners for ITFNZ and I come to the When a toast is offered, the junior’s glass should be held slightly lower than the senior’s glass. Drinks should be poured by the junior. The glasses of others should be filled before your own. If someone fills your glass, you should immediately return the hospitality by filling his or her glass. sickening realisation that I was a black stripe due to grade very soon and the examination had already begun!

	Drinks should be poured by the junior. The glasses of others should be filled before your own. If someone fills your glass, you should immediately return the hospitality by filling his or her glass.

After the dinner concluded we retired to the lecture room for Richard to give his talk. The first 40 minutes were full of a very theoretical analysis on learning and teaching methods and I wondered how well this was all being received. Then Richard contextualised the theory to the actual teaching of Taekwon-Do and related them to his interviews and observations of Mr Eccles’ Hamilton class. Interest picked up and the questions began to flow as people probed for ideas and thoughts on how to improve the teaching and training we do in ITFNZ. Richard concluded with a quote from the Instructor/ Student relationship from General Choi’s Condensed Encyclopaedia of Taekwon-Do (p43), “An instructor should be eager for his students to surpass him: it is the ultimate compliment for an instructor.” Master Davidson thanked Richard and, much to Richard's delight, presented him with a copy of General Choi’s Biography and his book on Moral Culture.

By 10:30pm we had packed and headed home. It was a fantastic, if somewhat harrowing, experience that gave me an incredible firsthand experience of some of the lesser known aspects of our art. Looking back on the evening it struck me that during the whole evening all the tenets of Taekwon-Do were displayed by everyone I came in contact with. I was left realising the effect that these tenets have in making the whole world a better place and I now have a renewed commitment to embody them into my everyday life.